that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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