I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
