OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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