I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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