You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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