Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
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I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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