I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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