If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the day after is always just damage control
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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