at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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