ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just pynch a tree in the face
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
