very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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