I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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