so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
