I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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