your thong is hanging out like whoa
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
