drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
