Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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