i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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