I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
