At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
