are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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