oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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