It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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