Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
