Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
