Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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