.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.