his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.