sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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