We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
