I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
