dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
