Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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