why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
