69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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