It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
