what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
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