Your mouth is God's brothel.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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