um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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