She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
