i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
