i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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