She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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