i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
