And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
