READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
