Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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