I heard we made out
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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