the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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