Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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