I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
