Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's great music for shaving your balls
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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