i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The power of my boobs compel you
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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