the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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