He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
