smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
