nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
