if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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