It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
