Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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