Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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